Spike's pages
Does anyone know how to get a kid on a sugarrush to calm down so I can get him to bed?
There's only so much a vampire can take.

I should have listened to Buffy when she said it wouldn't be a good idea to give him some candy right before bedtime
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It had been a few hours since the doctors had come. At first he hadn't even realized what they were planning to do, until his bodyheat started increasing. Like getting a fever. Then from feeling hot like in an oven, he'd started trembling in the cold, pulling his coat as tightly around him as he could, hugging his legs in a position determined to be as small as possible.

There were a few other captives, but Spike had no intention of talking to them. All he could think of was trying to escape. He kept staring at his hands, feeling the pulse in his veins, trobbing along easily. Human.

He wished that there were anything in the cell that he could throw just to make them pay for this.

Current Mood: crushed crushed

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*Spike could feel his stomach rumbling. Still taste the blood on his lips, long gone as it was. So so hungry. The heartbeats in the kennels next to him only made it worse. Reminding him how close they were, reminding him how easy it'd be to just kick the door out of the cage, grab one of the humans and have himself a feast.

Oh how they would scream and beg, how the boy would taste under him, how the girls would try to run and the boys try to fight. Writhing under him when he finally decided to catch them.
Breathing, bad bad... don't need to breathe, how often did Angelus tell him that, teach him that.
Hold you under the water till you learn your lesson, stay under till you stop. Spurting into his lungs every time he opened his mouth grasping for every last useless bubble of oxygen.
Stomach rumbling, need need...
Tasty yummy, oh so good, need it, please can I have it, one just the one...
So hungry.
Fed mummy too quick, still too weak, but Dru needed, needed...

Mommy, mommy dearest, your boy needs a snack. Pretty mum, mummy sweet, can I have one, I'll be good and empty the table, whole feast awaiting and hungry so bad.*

((ooc: got a bit bored, anyone feel like having their chars starting to worry about the vamp with the rumbly stomach is welcome to join in*g*))
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How do you deal with a bathroom phobia?

No, not a getting in bath, or taking a shower part, that I don't mind, at least once a day. A guy has to smell decent and all that.
I mean the actually going into a bathroom, especially when your girlfriend's inthere.

It's like the past few days, I keep having ... memories, sneaking, slithering inside my head. One moment I'm with her, holding her, the next I can feel her hurting, her under me as I tried to...

How do I get it to stop, should I even?
Don't have any right to get it to stop, now do I? Not like she can stop remembering, so why should I?
I hurt the girl, hurt her, tried to force her, should just deal with it.
Get over it, help her, support her, like I'm supposed to.
Not yammering about past sins, but then I see her in her robe and it's all coming back like looking in a mirror and seeing myself tear at her robe, forcing her down to the ground. Feeling her try to crawl away from me.

God if she hadn't stopped me.
Stop it please?
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Well, it's not like I could just ask peaches for help on this one but....

Do any of you guys know how to tell the love of your unlife that you came back to life, well undead, and didn't tell her you were back for over a year?

If any of you do, please let me know what to do.
Preferably in a way that won't get her to stake me the second I show up on her doorstep.
It's just that well right before I died, while saving the world by the way; she told me she loved me. Now I've loved the bird for years. She's everything to me, but after the sodden rot of a year she'd had, stuff we'd gone through, things I did, to her, her friends, it's hard to believe that she means it, that they weren't just a comfort for a dying bloke.

So how do I just show up on her doorstep, hope my invite's still on?

And now that she's with that arse, The Immortal, I have even less of a clue.
If I show up, would that be too demanding, if I don't show up and she finds me on her own, will she hate me forever for not telling her?
And what if she already knows but just doesn't care? It'd break what's left of my heart.

I've just thought about going to see her for so long, that it's hard to make up my bleeding mind whether I should go do it or not.


Current Mood: embarrassed embarrassed
Current Music: Barry Manilow, the poof's taken controll of the radio again.

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//firewall to angel//
Seems I ought to be grateful to Angel... Damn fricking bastard took a stake for me and all...
It's just... hard to believe.
I know I've saved his life, shame though it may be, and he saved me from Dana a few months ago, but this...

Made me think of times I'd rather try and forget, me, Dru, Darla and ...him. We'd fight and we'd uh fight... but I'd never try and kill him, and I know he let me go time and time again. Much as I like to think that I could have kicked his shady ass, I know that at the time, I wouldn't have had a chance, if he'd really gone for it.

I, ah well... count it on the charts and away with it.
Think I'd better go help out Percy, before he starts asking for his precious...
The bloke is really starting to freak me out...

//end firewall//
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Back in LA.
Thank God that Dawn's here. I found her sleeping on the couch when I finally got to my flat. It's a good thing that the landlord let her in or she'd have had to wait outside.

So I'm staying in LA, with Angel.
Anything to make sure that I can help with the big fight.

Oh God, it's unfair.
Fred's an innocent, she should be out in the park, smooching with Percy. Not being used as a shell by some two bit wannabe god that doesn't even realize how wonderful she is ... was...

Was that how vampires are? Demons using the dead human's body like a shell, like parasites? I always thought of me as William, but am I?
What's the soul, is the soul me? Or am I the demon, sharing living accomodations with William's old soul?

I hate thinking, brooding, ...

I need a drink, and not one of those bleeding toy things they sell on the plane, a real bottle of Jack, but if I get drunk, who'll take care of Dawn? And what if Illyria tries something again?

If I bounce my head against the wall enough times, will it all go away?

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Fred... no God no

Current Mood: broken
Current Music: nothing

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Oh my God!!
Oh my god!!!

This is just....



Just plain priceless.

Still... aw


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I won a game of kitten poker earlier, admittedly, I lost the viper earlier in the game, but I managed to win a few more hands after that.
So now I should have the money for a better couch, one of those flap out ones that can serve as a bed.
I even went (shiver) shopping.
At wallmart...

I thought I'd been in hell... I was wrong.
Never ever again.

But at least the freezer is full.
Hotpockets, pizza and some of those easy fry things for the non-liquid food inclined... Got some more beers too, that and set of PJ's, can't keep on sleeping like I have when I'm sharing the place...

Am I forgetting anything?
//firewall to everyone//
Hmmm might consider asking Angel for a new car, I really really don't like public transportation, I might end up killing someone if I have to keep using it.
//end firewall//

Current Music: Sweating Bullets

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